Sacrifice
by severussnape922
Summary: Severus's first day as a teacher in Hogwarts. AU. Please read and review.


_Author's Note: My own take on Severus's first day as a Hogwarts Professor in Severus's POV. AU. Please read and review._

_Yours sincerely,_

_severussnape922_

**Sacrifice**

Severus Snape, Ex-Death Eater, stepped tentatively onto the _Hogwarts Express. _He lowered his head. He had not been on the train for a long, long, time. Memories come flooding back, taking him back to the very day when he first entered the train, brimful of both nervousness and confidence. He gasped in utter surprise as the sea of memories carried him away to some long-forgotten time...

_It is the first day of September. Severus, clad in old Muggle clothes that are far and way too big for him, waves his hands excitedly at Lily, Evans, his best (and only) friend. Lily's lips twitch up as she sees past the unimpressive appearance to the person he really is within. Lily's emerald and almond-shaped eyes twinkle merrily as she approaches Severus. _

_Severus exclaims, "This is it! We're really off to Hogwarts!" Lily nods in agreement with Severus's words. Holding their hands together, they enter the _Hogwarts Express, _eagerly waiting for their first journey to Hogwarts that will change their lives forever, both for the good and the bad..._

Severus shook his head wearily and let out a long-suffering sigh. Those were days bygone, days that he would give anything to bring back. Now, there was nothing left for him except to wade in the sorrow, sink into the grief, for the few words that had tumbled out of his mouth to the dead Dark Lord. That had cost Lily's life. He could never, and would never, forgive himself.

He entered the train warily, keeping himself to the ceaseless world of shadows. It was an easy task, for he was wearing robes that were as black as the night. Old habits die hard. He slipped along silently, blending into the background, heading for a deserted carriage, not wanting to draw any attention to himself. He was once a Death Eater, after all. Not just yet, anyway.

He took his seat and leaned back with a sigh. He resigned himself to many years of being cooped up in the castle, teaching the incredibly stupid students about the subtle art of Potions.

* * *

He stepped out of the train, looking around left and right with swift eyes. He did not have any wish to be yelled at by distraught students who would claim that he had been the reason for their parent's death. Still, he had to admit that they were not far off the mark. He was guilty of many deaths. They left a mark on him that was tangible by anyone scrutinizing him closely enough. They could see the haunted look, the air of exhaustion and guilt around him. But no one ever went close enough to see this. No one wanted to get close a murderer. He personally did not blame them. Only to two people had he shown his true self.

HIs beloved Lily Evans. And Albus Dumbledore.

_Severus shivers as he passes by the Dementors, the infamous guards of Azkaban. He does not know why he is being brought out of his tiny cell in Azkaban. But he is thankful for it. It gives him a break from having to see Lily's glassy eyes, never to see another living creature ever again over... and over... and over..._

_Severus was herded towards a small interrogation room by his twin human guards. They flank him and never, not in a million years, does their eyes leave from him. He moaned inaudibly. He should have known better than to keep his hopes up- not that he had much. Close proximity with Dementors for a prolonged period of time crushed any lingering hope that he still had._

_The guards shoved him into the room, then locked the door with Muggle locks. They were far safer to use, not many wizards had the skill to pick locks. Severus took his seat slowly, not looking into the interrogator's eyes. He knows what is coming next. Unrelentless times of entering his mind, seeing all his dreadful deeds and giving the Ministry a chance to prove that he should have a longer term in Azkaban. And he has no power to resist._

_But the soft voice startled him profoundly, "Mr. Snape, please look at me."_

_He looks up into the bright blue eyes, shock reflected into his obsidian eyes. What was Dumbledore, of all people, doing here?_

_Dumbledore, glad that he had captured Severus's attention, then said, "I have a proposition for you, Mr. Snape."_

_Severus eyes Dumbledore warily, not sure what way the conversation is going. BUt he abruptly replies, "What is it?"_

_Dumbledore's eyes seemed to soften as the brilliant blue eyes studied Severus. He said, "Severus, you know why and how Lily died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son. I will get you out of Azkaban. You will also become my new Potions Professor in Hogwarts."_

_Severus was taken aback by the offer. But he bowed his head deferentially, and said one word, one single word that entwined his life closer to Hogwarts than ever, "Yes."_

The cheerful giggles from some students broke his train of thoughts. He quietly took his briefcase and stalked off towards the eerily beautiful Thestrals. He could of course see them.

* * *

He entered the Great Hall apprehensively, not knowing what to expect. Audible gasps were heard all around him as the students recognized his face that was splattered over the _Daily Prophet _together with other Death Eaters. Low muttering started all around him and students shot him suspicious looks.

He kept his head low as he walked towards the teachers' table. He expected the same treatment from the teachers.

He was proved wrong. It was worse. Much worse.

Minerva McGonagall, gave him a frosty look and inched away from him, not wanting to get close him. The other teachers gave him a wide berth and acted as if he was invisible. Only Albus greeted him warmly, shaking his hand.

All the other teachers looked aghast at this action. Clearly Albus had to still do a lot more to convince them of Severus's true loyalties.

Severus moodily sat back down and picked at his food, having no appetite. He decided to look around the Great Hall instead.

The students flinched involuntarily as they felt Severus's gaze fall on them. They looked up and met his eyes. Was that a hint of remorse they could see in his eyes? However, before they could affirm the fact, it seemed to go out and transform Severus's eyes back into their usual state: cold, black, inscrutable and dead.

Severus finished his sweep over the Great Hall. He bowed his head low. This was what he deserved, for his many years of murdering innocent and helpless people.

This was what he deserved, for his countless instances of torturing people to near-insanity.

Now he had to live with the consequences. This was his sacrifice.


End file.
